Magical Bag of Mundane Items

Magical Bag of Random Mundane Items is a fun, comical way to add levity to your Role Playing campaign. There are no genre-specific rules… this item fits into any game, from Dungeons and Dragons (any edition), to Pathfinder, Savage Worlds, or any fantasy or medieval based adventure game.
DM: read or paraphrase the following:

“You hear muffled sounds from inside the broom closet. “Mmmrph! Mmmft mmmpt!” It sounds as if someone is bound, gagged, and in need of aid.”

If the PCs open the broomcloset, they find the leather bag. Read or paraphrase the following:

“You find a medium size leather bag. It is embossed with a green hexagon shape. A drawstring is sewn into the top, which is currently closed. There are sounds emitting from the bag. “Mmmmrph!” It sounds like someone or something is desperate to escape. Do you open the bag?”

This is a magical item. If detect magic is used, it glows with powerful conjuration/summoning magic. It is neither good nor evil. If PCs try to expiriment with the bag, use the rules for a bag of holding.
This bag has a mouth for an opening. When the PCs find the bag, its opening is drawn shut with a string. But when the PCs undo the string, the bag speaks to them. It is very annoying. “Thanks for letting me out! You won’t regret it! Reach inside me and pull out a wonderful prize!” The bag has a very self important attitude, claiming that it can help in every situation. “I’ve got the perfect thing for that!” Let the bag chime in at random moments throughout the adventure. This should provide some comic relief. If the party is trying to sneak, the bag may call out at the worst moment. If the PCs tie the bag shut, it continues to yell with the muffled “Mrph!” from time to time.
When you reach into this bag, you pull out something mundane and non-magical. If you put a mundane item into the bag, there is a 5% chance that you will draw that item again in the future. If a PC calls out what item he wants to find, there is always a 5% chance that the PC will indeed pull out the requested item (Roll of 20). Remember that Magic items will not go in to the bag, no matter how much force is applied. Treat this bag like a bag of holding, except that the PCs cannot choose what they draw from the bag – it is always determined randomly.
1 a stuffed monkey toy with clanging cymbals/sunglasses/a cassette tape
2 a candy bar/ an old shoe/ an acorn
3 a bouquet of flowers/ perfume bottle
4 a pencil/ a key
5 a glove/ a small sack/ a pine cone
6 a ball of yarn/ a cape
7 a wooden beaded necklace/ a hat
8 a blank sheet of parchment/ a wheel from a cart
9 a corked bottle of ink/ a quill
10 an abacus/ a ceramic doll
11 a dead armadillo/ a dead kitten
12 a whistle/ a very small harp
13 a pouch of sand/ bag of marbles
14 a shoe/ a cloak
15 a handkerchief/ kindling wood
16 a hot dog/ flint/ steel
17 a corked bottle of water/ steel wool
18 a small mirror/ soap/ stoppered whiskey jar
19 a random book/ a dagger/ a belt
20 YOU GET WHAT YOU ASKED FOR/ you
get one random item that you’ve placed in the
bag.

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